Key takeaways
- Listen and try not to interrupt while they speak. Avoid the knee-jerk response of wanting to solve their problems.
- Offering practical support can help the person going through treatment, while giving others caring for them more time for themselves
- Going with them to appointments can be a welcome form of support for those going through treatment
When someone has been diagnosed with cancer and is going through treatment, you might wonder what you can do to support them during this challenging time. While everyone’s experience of cancer treatment – and, therefore, what they will find helpful – will be different, our guide provides some useful suggestions.
Be a good listener
Good listening requires presence and thoughtful attention. When someone is going through cancer treatment, they can experience a range of physical, psychological and emotional side-effects. Many people simply want someone to listen to them, if and when they choose to talk about how they’re feeling.
If they want to talk, be a good listener by:
- Turning off distractions, such as the TV or your phone
- Creating a relaxed, private environment
- Maintaining eye contact
- Letting them lead the conversation
- Avoiding interrupting them while they are talking
- Not discussing someone else’s experience with cancer
- Trying not to give advice unless they ask for it
- Not holding back from showing your own feelings
Offer hands-on support
Practical support can be invaluable for someone going through cancer treatment, as well as anyone involved in their care. Hands-on help can be particularly important if the person having treatment lives on their own, as it can feel overwhelming, or even impossible, to manage household responsibilities on top of appointments and recovery, alone.
If you are unsure of what hands-on support will be most valuable, ask. Have an open conversation about when you can offer assistance and what you are happy or able to do.
Ideas for hands-on support for someone going through cancer treatment include:
- Food shopping
- Laundry
- Gardening
- Picking up children from school
- Babysitting
- Cleaning
- Collecting prescriptions
- Pet walking
- Running errands
Go with them to appointments
Offering to take someone to their appointments not only provides support to the person going through treatment but can offer a break to their primary caregiver, if that’s not you.
They may want someone to drive them to appointments, or they may appreciate you going to appointments with them. During treatment, patients can feel overwhelmed with the amount of information they receive and experience brain fog, so it might be worth asking them if they’d like you to take notes during appointments, so they can refer to them later.
Prepare or organise meals
Eating after cancer treatment isn’t always easy as it can cause a loss of appetite and taste changes. In addition, many people who have chemotherapy experience fatigue, so don’t necessarily have the energy to cook nutritious meals.
You can offer support in the form of cooking meals that they can freeze and reheat or offering to organise a meal delivery service. Make sure to ask the person:
- What foods they like or can currently tolerate
- If they have any dietary requirements
- What size of meals they would like
- If they would appreciate easy-to-grab snacks for low-energy days
- How much fridge/freezer space they have so food doesn’t go to waste
Simply be there
For many people going through cancer treatment, simply knowing that there are people they can reach out to is what really matters. You can offer valuable emotional support just by being there for them. Sometimes just sending a quick text or regular email so that they know you are there is all that is needed. Just remember to ask before you drop in to see them in case they aren’t feeling up to visitors.
Conversation doesn’t always have to centre around their diagnosis. In fact, there doesn’t have to be any conversation at all. You could watch a film, read magazines side by side or sit in the garden and have a cup of tea together.
While we have ensured that every article is medically reviewed and approved, information presented here is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have any questions or concerns, please talk to one of our healthcare professionals or your primary healthcare team.