Key takeaways
- Try to let go of expectations around your recovery and abilities; be kind to yourself.
- Others might feel like it’s time for you to celebrate and move on. It’s okay if you don’t feel this way.
- You many want to forget cancer; instead, explore integrating cancer into your life
- You get to decide what role cancer plays in your identity going forward
The time after cancer treatment might feel challenging for a host of different reasons, including experiencing a loss of trust in your body, coping with side-effects, and losing the ‘anchor’ of treatment and its routines. In this article, our Perci professionals discuss how you might feel about these challenges, as well as feelings around ‘moving on’ with your life. They share advice and practices that might help, and introduce the idea of integrating your cancer experience.
Trust, fear and side-effects
It can take time to get used to any physical changes you’re experiencing after treatment. These might include challenges with body image and function. You might wonder whether you can trust your body, whether you’ll spot symptoms in the future and know which ones you should be concerned about.
It takes time to build up trust again, particularly if you feel your body has let you down. Lots of people living beyond cancer describe the fear they feel when they develop an ache or pain, or even flu, worrying that these might be signs the cancer has returned. This is quite normal, but also limiting. Sharing your concerns with a good friend or a trained professional can be reassuring.
It’s also possible that you may still be experiencing side effects from treatment, which can feel frustrating. You may have set yourself goals for after treatment that now feel insurmountable or unachievable. Try to be kind to yourself and let go of some expectations. Perhaps track the symptoms and their regularity and impact, to help you notice patterns and improvements.
Losing the ‘anchor’ of treatment
Dealing with emotional and physical changes following cancer treatment is just half the story. Up to this point, you’ve been in a routine, with regular hospital appointments, treatment dates and a number of health professionals keeping a close eye on you. While the impact of this may have been challenging, the input may have been reassuring, and it might have been helpful to feel that you were doing something proactive about your cancer.
After treatment, this input is significantly reduced. You might find yourself waiting for the next scan or consultation, without the routine or anchor of treatment. It ‘s very common to wonder, ‘What now?’ You may have been looking forward to finishing your treatment but then, when the time comes, it can be anticlimax and actually quite daunting.
Friends, family and routines
You may feel differently to those around you, or isolated from friends and family who assume you want to celebrate, forget what you’ve been through and move on. Maybe you feel completely the opposite – that you would rather sleep than celebrate. That’s okay! Moving on may feel far harder than others think or realise. It might be helpful for you to explain how you feel, and what you need from them.
Adjusting to life after treatment might include starting to think about a new routine or focus. Regaining some fitness or returning to work gradually might provide some stability. Just make sure that anything you add in feels good for you and appropriate.
How to integrate your cancer experience
It’s completely understandable to feel that you would like to forget about cancer, and to try to recover something of your life before diagnosis, but this is easier said than done. You will likely have regular scans and check ups, you may be on medication, or continue to experience side-effects from your cancer or treatment for some time. Truly leaving your cancer behind might be unrealistic but what about the idea of ‘integration’? This isn’t about welcoming it with open arms, but allowing it to assume an appropriate place amongst everything else you have going on.
What does ‘integration’ look like?
Integrating cancer into your life might mean feeling able to talk about it openly. It might mean allowing yourself days when you feel low, angry or fed up. And it might mean creating space around appointments and scans rather than squeezing them into your day and avoiding thinking about them, and honouring any emotions that come up.
Integration also means allowing space for uncertainty. This can be really difficult. Humans are creatures of habit and routine. We tend to love control and security, but for someone who has experienced a life-changing diagnosis, these can be tough to hold onto.
Acknowledge what has come into your life as a result of cancer
From now on, you get to decide what role cancer plays in your identity. It may feel important to you to speak up, to fundraise, take up a challenge or advocate for your particular cancer type. On the other hand, it may not. Your experience of cancer can take centre stage, or you can choose to keep it on the periphery – either is fine.
While we have ensured that every article is medically reviewed and approved, information presented here is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have any questions or concerns, please talk to one of our healthcare professionals or your primary healthcare team.