Key takeaways
- It’s common to find that emotions catch up with you after cancer treatment ends
- Anger might surface for a number of reasons. Try to identify triggers.
- You might be more aware of your own mortality and for some feel ‘survivor’s guilt’. Be tolerant and kind to yourself.
- Grief is a common and natural reaction to your experience. It’s normal to feel a sense of loss.
It’s quite common for there to be a significant emotional reaction when treatment ends, as you have more space to think and feel. This can seem at odds with what you and others around you may expect. In this article, our Perci psychologists discuss some of the emotional challenges that can happen following treatment and share the more common feelings or questions they hear. Remember – your experience and reactions are unique. Note down anything you hear that resonates, as well as your own personal experiences.
Experiencing anger
Everyone’s experience of cancer is unique and, therefore, the reasons for anger will be different too. You may feel angry about what you’ve faced, the impact cancer has had on relationships, the side-effects of cancer treatment, changes to your life because of cancer and not being able to do as much as before your diagnosis, as well as a host of other reasons.
If you’re experiencing anger, try to identify particular triggers, such as special occasions, family and friends complaining about their lives or medical settings. Either writing it down or vocalising it can help, and many people find meditation, movement and counselling useful.
Experiencing loss and grief
You may feel a sense of loss around this time. Grief is a natural and understandable reaction to a cancer diagnosis, and might surface for the first time, or again, now that treatment is over. You might grieve the loss of your life before cancer, or some of the losses you experienced along the way, like the loss of your role or identity, change in relationships or work situation, loss of independence, control, meaning, and changes to your body. Take a moment to note these down.
Experiencing survivor’s guilt
It can be difficult and painful to hear of the death of someone due to cancer when you are in recovery. Challenging feelings can emerge whether it’s a relative, friend, parent, spouse, or even someone in the public eye or news – each can be an emotional trigger at a time when you are going through something hard yourself, particularly when the circumstances are similar such as their tumour type, age or gender. As well as the understandable grief reactions (which can include feelings such as sadness, disbelief, yearning and numbness) when someone dies, there are often complicated feelings around your own situation and mortality.
It can be helpful to talk through any anxieties or fears that a death has brought up for you, but try to avoid Googling if the tumour type was the same as yours – remember each person’s diagnosis and treatment is individual, and outcomes are also unique. Let your family, friends and medical team know if the death of someone has brought up difficult feelings for you – try not to suffer in silence, tell someone if you are having a hard time. Talking to a psychotherapist can be helpful to share some of the grief you are feeling, as well as any anxieties or concerns. Be kind to yourself and attentive to your feelings, and remember, it’s okay to feel sad at times.
Experiencing existential anxiety
This could be a time when a form of existential anxiety comes up. Existential anxiety is a feeling of dread or panic that occurs when a person starts to worry about the limitations of their existence, and it can be frightening and unsettling. You might find yourself reflecting on your mortality, or fearing further ill health or death. This is a very big thing to sit with. It can also be magnified by catastrophic thinking: imagining or assuming the worst. These thoughts can quickly escalate and play on your mind. An example might be, ‘If I don’t recover quickly from my treatment, I will never get over this and I will never be able to work, and therefore never do the things I love again.’ Can you identify catastrophic thinking and come up with an alternative narrative?
While we have ensured that every article is medically reviewed and approved, information presented here is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have any questions or concerns, please talk to one of our healthcare professionals or your primary healthcare team.